O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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