You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I love having hate sex.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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