Acid is not a monday night drug
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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