You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
