Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
