I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
