Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
