Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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