During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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