they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
