Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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