its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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