At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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