i think i have herpe
just one?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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