I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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