Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
