Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
