Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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