I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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