when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
