drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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