Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
