I want to walk on stilts...naked
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
