Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
