weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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