I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize