A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he was CRYING into my vagina
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
