i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I love you.
Bad choice
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
