Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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