I heard we made out
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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