so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
