I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
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During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
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So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dick very happy bro
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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