is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
