i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
