she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize