What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
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i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
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I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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