Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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