just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize