dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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