I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
