My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
