I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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