in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Randomize