normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
