Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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