Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
