i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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