the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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