Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
