So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
