Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
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Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
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bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The Olympian is in my bed