matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.