Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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