Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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