We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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