just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
