The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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