Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
