I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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