i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Randomize
